Thursday Triumphs and thoughts

Good Days/Bad Days. The good in the last week or so have been outweighing the bad. I probably just jinxed myself there but we'll see.

Avery had a bit of a cold last week and sometimes when that happens, her sensory issues get all wrangled up and it's a step back for her. So last Friday her OT therapy was the suck. She generally was in a pissy mood. Then over the weekend she seemed to get over it. At one point during the weekend her sister was crying and Avery offered her her flamingo that she carries with her to console her. That was very sweet of her and showed that she is becoming cognizant of other's feelings. When I ask her for kisses she can be hesitant to pucker up but eventually she will but she also wants me to give the flamingo kisses to.

I've started to get things organized to get her signed up for preschool. Getting her follow up appointment scheduled with the specialists downtown and then her evaluation with the school district will be lined up.

The other day I had an opportunity to meet up with the Dr who delivered her. < read between the lines, ladies you'll figure it out > He is a very caring, compassionate Dr and I truly loved going to him when I was pregnant with both of my girls. So I told him that the baby he delivered has Autism. I felt bad telling him. I didn't want to depress him. He said he likes to know what happens with the babies he delivers. He sat and listened to me as I told him her story. I could tell by his expressions on his face that it did effect him knowing this information.

I guess I thought he should know. My friend and I talked about it the next day and asked ourselves a few questions...Do they keep track of these things? Should they keep track of these things? Should they keep track of the outcome of high risk pregnancies? (such as I was). We were generalizing keeping track of these things for our area vs other areas. I told him I don't really ask the why or the how it happened because that does me no good right now. I have to think of the now and the future.

I did my best at not breaking down in the exam room. So I switched gears and talked about the marathon. He did enjoy my marathon story and was just as surprised as I was that they didn't even have one medic team at the end.

As I'm typing this I realize that while I was talking to my Dr about this that I really should go talk to my therapist about this. I haven't yet. I don't want to go to a support group with other parents either. I am already dreading the Autism Conference I am going to in May.  My anxiety gets high just thinking of 1) being in crowded places (hello starting lines are a bitch for me) and 2) my opinions I feel about Autism don't get validated because I'm a fresh Autism Mom. Though I've been reading about Autism for years in general but only recently had to direct majority of my energy towards it.

eh. So I guess I have my issues with some things that have been in my thoughts lately. I guess it's just another thing I need to add to "To work on" list.