Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Why do I blog?

The blog is where I write my thoughts, discuss my problems with running or issues with Avery's Autism.

If you are a part of my family and you think this blog is to humiliate or embarrass a family member you are sorely mistaken. If you think lowly of this family member because he is human and has had a hard time coming to terms with Avery's diagnosis than you are not viewing him very fairly. And it is your issue and not mine.

Why am I writing this? I have mentioned my Dad a few times on this blog. In fact yesterday afternoon after being in hysterics for  hours I went through the blog and counted about less than a handful of posts that mention my father. I was so upset yesterday after a phone call from a family member I scared my oldest daughter who didn't understand why I was upset and crying. Who then proceeded to tell the school bus driver that Mommy was crying. Awesome.

In the beginning months after Avery's diagnosis of Autism my Dad being my father, my children's grandfather and general overly protective loving parent had a hard time with Avery's diagnosis. He didn't think she had it, he didn't understand how the play therapy was going to help. That's not his fault though. That's just how many older family members view a diagnosis of Autism through out the special needs community. Through all the blogs I've seen on Autism it seems that many grandparents are left hurt, bewildered and lost in how to help their children. All they want to do is help in some way.

I previously had a meltdown a few months ago about something that happened as I was leaving to take Avery to therapy and my Dad was staying with Paige like he does every Friday when I take Avery to therapy. So when I came home from that therapy session I looked through the internet and found this article: Grandparenting Special Needs Children. It is a wonderful article that outlines what they as a grandparent can do to help. I also printed out articles about the different type of therapies she would be doing. I printed out articles on sensory processing disorders and ways she needs to regulate themselves. I wanted him to understand our world a little bit more. I believe after giving him these articles in an non-confrontational way that he was receptive of the information and took it to heart. Because since then things on that front have been much better. 

So if you have the misconception that my Dad is not helpful, or a jerk or ignorant about Avery having Autism than you probably should pick up the phone and call me because that is not how the situation is. In fact what would be really nice is if you are a family member and you think of my Dad, how about giving him a call? I'm sure he would like that.

On that note I know many people have heard Avery had Autism through the grapevine but I have never heard from them. Besides the one's who recently heard through my letter of donation request, I have not heard a single peep from other family and friends. You might not know what to say and that's ok. Heck even on our good days I still don't know what to say.  So while we deal with Avery's diagnosis as a family the prayers are appreciative but knowing my family and friends are supportive and helpful means more right now. Autism is not a death sentence for a child or a FAMILY. I would hope that Autism can bring families closer because I know it is stressful, it should not tear them apart but bring them together.

It may seem like I am airing my families dirty laundry and I probably am in a small way. I just wanted to clear things up for those silent family followers. What we need is support. What I don't need is someone calling me berating me for how they perceive I describe my father when they are not in our lives in a day to day basis.

This post will be closed to comments today. Thank you for your support

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